Giving kids choices is one of the most versatile tools in a child care provider’s toolbox. Choices give kids a sense of agency, control, and the belief that they can influence their own world. They also help kids develop problem-solving skills, whether it’s a toddler choosing an outfit or a teenager making decisions about friendships. Here are a few tips on using choices effectively:

1. Make Choices Age-Appropriate.

Every child is different, even at the same age. Avoid overwhelming them with too many or too complex choices. For younger kids, offer simple options like, “Would you like cheese or yogurt for lunch?”, “Which outfit would you like to wear: 1, 2, or 3?”, or “Should we go to the park before or after homework?” As kids grow older, present more complex options and encourage them to come up with their own choices. Prompt them with open-ended questions like, “It seems you have two options: missing the last game of the season or the last weekend at the lake with Sam. Can you think of other possibilities?” or “How can you respond to the bully at school?”

2. Guide Them Through the Decision-Making Process.

To make good choices, kids need to learn how to process the issue, consider appropriate options, and make a decision based on their needs and wants. Teaching them this step-by-step process and practicing it daily helps them understand and master it.

3. Only Offer Acceptable Choices.

Ensure that any choices you offer are ones you can accept. This is simpler with younger kids but becomes challenging with older children as they start to develop their own preferences. To avoid inappropriate choices, establish a framework based on your values. One effective method is outlined in “Positive Discipline,” where every choice must be practical, effective, and respectful.

If you haven’t used choices before, try incorporating them. You’ll find they help manage challenging behaviors and empower kids to become confident and capable in their decision-making abilities.